People from Real Life and WoW
  • I'm going to stuff a sock up your nose!
  • Remember kids, don't do drugs…or noodles.
  • Where is my llama? Abul? Where are you, Abul?
  • You only go to hell if you don't believe in God if you believe that you'll go to hell if you don't believe in God.
  • Don't bother me, I'm living happily ever after.
  • I'm mean, I know. But it doesn't hurt my feelings any.
  • Life is fun living on the edge - especially when you get to push people off.
  • Not all men are annoying. Some are dead.
  • Okay, okay! I take it back. Unscrew you!!!!
  • Therapy is expensive. Popping bubble plastic is cheap. You choose.
  • I hate the new bell schedules! It used to be in increments of 5, but now can ring all kinds of crazy times, like 2:17 or... or 3:61!" *pause* "I meant 4:11, I was testing you. (courtesy of a friend from her final high school year)
  • Don't touch her! Only I get to touch her! (my art appreciation teacher regarding students making hand shadows on a slide of a naked woman)
  • Our grades go A, B, C, D, F. What happened to E? Was E not GOOD enough?! (in regard to the grading scale)
  • Bzzz! *waggles fingers* You will bring your notebook to class! (my psychology teacher "attempting" hypnosis)
  • Since violent video games aren't allowed in Heaven, all there's going to be is cuddling and Mario Kart.
  • You know what I hate? I hate subliminal smoke messages.
  • Insanity is meant only for those who can appreciate its value. Y'know all those crazy people who run around killing other people and/or themselves? No appreciation for insanity.
  • Insanity is natural, everyone has it.
  • When life sucks, live with it. When life is good, blow it up.
  • You stupid son of a shoehorn!
  • God WHY do these bears not have HEARTS!?!? Living animals in this game are made of 96% goo. That explains it all.

    Douglas Adams
  • Human beings, who are almost unique in having the ability to learn from the experience of others, are also remarkable for their apparent disinclination to do so.
  • I love deadlines. I like the whooshing sound they make as they fly by.
  • I may not have gone where I intended to go, but I think I have ended up where I intended to be.
  • In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.
  • It is not the fall that kills you. it's the sudden stop at the end.
  • I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that I don't know the answer.

    Anonymous (if you know who said it, e-mail me)
  • A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
  • A friend is someone who will help you move. A GOOD friend is someone who will help you move a body.
  • A printer consists of three main parts: the case, the jammed paper tray and the blinking red light.
  • Accidents don't just happen. They must be carelessly planned.
  • All that will be left after World War III will be roaches and lawyers.
  • Always remember you're unique, just like everyone else.
  • America is like a melting pot. The people at the bottom get burned, and the scum floats to the top.
  • Any fool can tell the truth, It takes a man of sense to lie well.
  • Avoid reality at all costs.
  • Before you criticize someone, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, if he gets angry, he'll be a mile away - and barefoot.
  • Blessed is he who sits on a pin, for he will rise again.
  • Creativity is great, but plagiarism is faster.
  • Crime doesn't pay, but the hours are good.
  • Do not walk behind me, for I may not lead. Do not walk ahead of me, for I may not follow. Do not walk beside me, either. Just leave me alone.
  • Don't die alone. Take many people with you.
  • Don't follow in my footsteps, because I run into a lot of walls.
  • Drinking and driving is the biggest cause of vehicle damage in the world. Special effects are a close second.
  • Due to financial constraints, the light at the end of the tunnel has been extinguished.
  • Eat right. Stay fit. Die anyway.
  • Even if you're paranoid, maybe they really are after you.
  • Everything goes on forever since the fat lady retired.
  • Experience is something you don't get until just after you need it.
  • Fate is what you blame when you don't know the name of the person screwing you over.
  • Follow your dream! Unless it's the one where you're at work in your underwear during a fire drill.
  • Friends may come and go, but enemies accumulate.
  • Genius may have its limitations, but stupidity is not thus handicapped.
  • Getting what they deserve doesn't satisfy many people.
  • Good generally conquers evil. Unless, of course, good is stupid.
  • Goody-goodies frighten me.
  • Gravity...not just a good idea: It's the LAW!
  • Great minds discuss ideas. Average minds discuss events. Small minds discuss people.
  • Guns don't kill people; death kills people. It's a proven medical fact.
  • Health is merely the slowest possible rate at which one can die.
  • High explosives are applicable where truth and logic fail.
  • Honesty is the best policy, but insanity is a better defense.
  • I don't drink water, fish piss in it.
  • I don't have a solution but I admire the problem.
  • I feel that there is an angel inside me whom I am constantly shocking.
  • I had a friend once. Then the rope broke and he got away.
  • I have an open mind - it's just closed for repairs.
  • I haven't lost my mind. It's backed up on disk somewhere.
  • If I want your opinion... I'll ask you to fill out the necessary forms.
  • Instant Human: Just Add Coffee...
  • It's been lovely, but I must scream now.
  • Knock hard. Life is deaf.
  • Life is an endless struggle full of frustrations and challenges, but eventually you find a hairstyle you like.
  • Life should NOT be a journey to the grave with the intention of arriving safely in an attractive and well preserved body, but rather to skid in sideways, chocolate in one hand, wine in the other, body thoroughly used up, totally worn out and screaming...
  • Light travels faster than sound. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
  • Live life to the fullest... think of all the people on the Titanic who passed up chocolate dessert.
  • Madness has no purpose or reason; but it may have a goal.
  • Madness takes its toll. Please have exact change
  • Marriage means commitment. Of course, so does insanity.
  • Men are from earth. Women are from earth. Deal with it.
  • Misery doesn't love company… Nowadays, it insists on it.
  • Never anger a dragon, for you are crunchy and you go well with Brie.
  • Never forget that 2 + 2 = 5 for extremely large values of 2.
  • Never hit a man with glasses. Hit him with a baseball bat.
  • Never say 'OOPS!' always say 'Ah, Interesting!'
  • Never take life seriously; nobody gets out alive anyway.
  • No husband has ever been shot while doing the dishes.
  • No job is so simple that is can't be done wrong.
  • No matter how hard you try, you can't fall off the floor.
  • Not one shred of evidence supports the notion that life is serious.
  • Of all the nasty surprises to be had, stumbling into a trap or your own making has to be the worst.
  • On the sixth day, God created the platypus. And God said: let's see the evolutionists try and figure this one out.
  • One doesn't have to live in constant fear, unless of course one suffers from paranoia.
  • Order is for idiots, only geniuses can handle chaos.
  • Out of my mind. Back in five minutes.
  • Rather die living than live to die.
  • Remember that the most beautiful things in the world are useles: peacocks and lillies, for instance.
  • Right now I'm having amnesia and deja vu at the same time. I think I've forgotten this before.
  • Rome did not create a great empire by having meetings; they did it by killing all those who opposed them.
  • Scientists say 1 out of every 4 people is crazy, check 3 friends, if they are ok, you're it.
  • Smile, it makes people wonder what you are thinking.
  • Some day my ship will come in, but with my luck, I'll be at the airport.
  • Some people hear voices… Some see invisible people… Others have no imagination whatsoever.
  • Surprise your friends, burn their houses down.
  • Take the road not taken - the leaves crunch that much louder!
  • Te audire no possum. Musa sapientum fixa est in aure. - I can't hear you. I have a banana in my ear.
  • Tell your little voices to SHUT UP! I can't hear mine...
  • The facts, although interesting, are irrelevant.
  • The guy who invented the first wheel was an idiot. The guy who invented the other three, he was the genius.
  • The light at the end of a tunnel may be an oncoming train.
  • The number of people watching you is directly proportional to the stupidity of your action.
  • The only real difference between me and everyone else is DNA. The rest is just politics.
  • The trouble with doing something right the first time is that nobody appreciates how difficult it was.
  • The truth is a terrible and dangerous thing, and should be avoided at all costs.
  • There are three rules for writing a novel. Unfortunately, no one knows what they are.
  • There are two kinds of pedestrians: The quick and the dead.
  • There are very few personal problems that cannot be solved through a suitable application of high explosives.
  • There is a thin, red line between eccentricity and insanity. That thin red line is tiny pink dot to me.
  • This calls for a particularly subtle blend of psychology and extreme violence.
  • This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.
  • This life is a test, only a test. If it had been real you would have received further instructions on where to go and what to do!
  • Those who live by the sword get shot by those who don't.
  • Two guys walked into a bar. The third one ducked.
  • Two wrongs don't make a right, but three lefts do.
  • We all can't be heroes. Somebody has to sit on the sides and clap as they go by.
  • Welcome to Hell. Here's your accordion.
  • What garlic is to food, insanity is to art.
  • When life throws you a knife, take it as a hint that you're not doing to well.
  • You can get -anywhere- in ten minutes if you drive fast enough.
  • You're just jealous cause the voices only talk to me.

    Aristotle
  • To be mad at someone - that is easy. To be mad at the right person, for the right reason, at the right time and at the right degree - that is not easy.
  • We make war that we may live in peace.

    Jane Austin
  • I do not want people to be agreeable, as it saves me the trouble of liking them.

    Max Beerbohm
  • Nobody ever died of laughter.

    Ambrose Bierce
  • Absence blots people out. We really have no absent friends.
  • In our civilization, and under our republican form of government, intelligence is so highly honored that it is rewarded by exemption from the cares of office.
  • Speak when you are angry and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.
  • All are lunatics, but he who can analyze his delusion is called a philosopher
  • Funeral: A pageant whereby we attest our respect for the dead by enriching the undertaker.

    William Blake
  • To see a World in a Grain of Sand, And a Heaven in a Wild Flower, Hold Infinity in the palm of your hand, And Eternity in an hour.
  • I was angry with my friend: I told my wrath, my wrath did end. I was angry with my foe: I told it not, my wrath did grow.

    Napoleon Bonaparte
  • Imagination rules the world.
  • The best way to keep one's word is not to give it.
  • There are only two forces in the world, the sword and the spirit. In the long run the sword will always be conquered by the spirit.
  • Take time to deliberate, but when the time for action has arrived, stop thinking and go in.
  • A battle sometimes decides everything; and sometimes the merest trifle decides a battle.
  • In war, as in love, we must come into contact before we can triumph.

    Ashleigh Brilliant
  • To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first, and call whatever you hit the target.
  • Try to relax and enjoy the crisis.

    Lord Richard Buckley
  • Humor is the absence of terror, and terror the absence of humor.

    Buddha
  • An insincere and evil friend is more to be feared than a wild beast; a wild beat may wound your body, but an evil friend will wound your mind.

    Charles Bukowski
  • We are here to laugh at the odds and live our lives so well that Death will tremble to take us.

    Bumper Stickers
  • Chaos, panic, and disorder… My work here is done.
  • Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons...for you are crunchy and good with ketchup.
  • Don't piss me off. I'm running out of places to hide the bodies.
  • Of all the things I've loved and lost, I miss my mind the most.
  • There is no gravity. The Earth sucks.

    Edmund Burke
  • The only thing needed for evil to prosper is for good men to do nothing.

    Jim Butcher
  • Hail the internet, equal opportunity rant resource.
  • You can always tell whether or not a Chinese fortune cookie is accurate. Simply add the words 'In Bed' to the end of the fortune. If it makes the whole thing sound really twisted, then you can be sure it's a good one.

    Al Capone
  • You can go a long way with a smile. You can go a lot further with a smile and a gun.

    George Carlin
  • As a matter of principle, I never attend the first annual anything.
  • Electricity is really just organized lightning.
  • Frisbeetarianism is the belief that when you die, your soul goes up on the roof and gets stuck.
  • Have you ever noticed that anybody driving slower than you is an idiot, and anyone going faster than you is a maniac?
  • Honesty may be the best policy, but it's important to remember that apparently, by elimination, dishonesty is the second-best policy.
  • I think it would be interesting if old people got anti-Alzheimer's disease where they slowly began to recover other people's lost memories.
  • I think people should be allowed to do anything they want. We haven't tried that for a while. Maybe this time it'll work.
  • I'm completely in favor of the separation of Church and State. My idea is that these two institutions screw us up enough on their own, so both of them together is certain death.
  • I'm not concerned about all hell breaking loose, but that a PART of hell will break loose... it'll be much harder to detect.
  • May the forces of evil become confused on the way to your house.
  • Standing ovations have become far too commonplace. What we need are ovations where the audience members all punch and kick one another.
  • The very existence of flame-throwers proves that some time, somewhere, someone said to themselves, You know, I want to set those people over there on fire, but I'm just not close enough to get the job done.
  • There's no present. There's only the immediate future and the recent past.
  • Weather forecast for tonight: dark.
  • When someone asks you, A penny for your thoughts, and you put your two cents in, what happens to the other penny?
  • When someone is impatient and says, "I haven't got all day," I always wonder, How can that be? How can you not have all day?
  • If a man smiles all the time he's probably seeling something that doesn't work.

    Lewis Carroll
  • One day Alice came to a fork in the road and saw a Cheshire cat in a tree. "Which road do I take?" she asked. "Where do you want to go?" was his response. "I don't know," Alice answered. "Then," said the cat, "it doesn't matter."

    Agatha Christie
  • Evil is not something superhuman, it's something less than human.

    Winston Churchill
  • A love of tradition has never weakened a nation, indeed it has strengthened nations in their hour of peril; but the new view must come, the world must roll forward.
  • He has all the virtues I dislike and none of the vices I admire.
  • It has been said that democracy is the worst form of government except all the others that have been tried.
  • It is a mistake to try to look too far ahead. The chain of destiny can only be grasped one link at a time.
  • Men occasionally stumble over the truth, but most of them pick themselves up and hurry off as if nothing ever happened.
  • Never give in--never, never, never, never, in nothing great or small, large or petty, never give in except to convictions of honour and good sense. Never yield to force; never yield to the apparently overwhelming might of the enemy.
  • Now this is not the end. It is not even the beginning of the end. But it is, perhaps, the end of the beginning.
  • One ought never to turn one's back on a threatened danger and try to run away from it. If you do that, you will double the danger. But if you meet it promptly and without flinching, you will reduce the danger by half.
  • Success is the ability to go from one failure to another with no loss of enthusiasm.
  • There are a terrible lot of lies going around the world, and the worst of it is half of them are true.
  • When I am abroad, I always make it a rule never to criticize or attack the government of my own country. I make up for lost time when I come home.
  • I am ready to meet my maker, but whether my maker is prepared for the great ordeal of meeting me is another matter.

    Tom Clancy
  • The difference between fiction and reality? Fiction has to make sense.

    John Cleese
  • And now for something completely different…

    Confucius
  • It does not matter how slowly you go so long as you do not stop.

    Norman Cousins
  • Death is not the greatest loss in life. The greatest loss is what dies inside us while we live.

    E.E. Cummings
  • There's a hell of a universe next door; lets go.

    The Dark Prince
  • (Hermione Granger) "I find your company disagreeable, my lord, and find the company of your fellows even more so. They wear on my nerves."
  • (Severus Snape) "You send her to take my life? Are you weak, my lord? Can you not dispense your own son, the Auror you yourself molded into your Prince? Or does the Lord of Death fear his Angel?"

    Marquis de Sade
  • I write of the great eternal truths that bind all men together the whole world over. We eat, we shit, we fuck, we kill, and we die.
  • No kind of sensation is keener and more active than that of pain; its impressions are unmistakable.

    Richard DiPippo
  • Only two kinds of people wear sunglasses at night; blind people and assholes.

    Dr. Seuss
  • Fantasy is a necessary ingredient in living, it's a way of looking at life through the wrong end of a telescope and that enables you to laugh at life's realities.
  • Be who you are and say what you feel, because those who mind don't matter, and those who matter don't.

    Will Durst
  • Guns don't kill people, people kill people. But it's the bullets that put the little holes in people so the blood'll leak out.

    Henry Van Dyke
  • Some people are so afraid to die that they never begin to live.

    Thomas Edison
  • Opportunity is missed by most people because it is dressed in overalls and looks like work.

    Albert Einstein
  • Great spirits have always encountered violent opposition from mediocre minds.
  • I am enough of an artist to draw freely upon my imagination. Imagination is more important than knowledge. Knowledge is limited. Imagination encircles the world.
  • I never think of the future. It comes soon enough.
  • Reality is merely an illusion, albeit a very persistent one.
  • The definition of insanity is doing the same thing over and over and over and over again, but expecting a different result.
  • The fear of death is the most unjustified of all fears, for there's no risk of accident for someone who's dead.
  • I know how with what weapons World War III will be fought, but World War IV will be fought with sticks and stones.

    Harlan Ellison
  • The two most common elements in the Universe are hydrogen and stupidity.

    W. C. Fields
  • Start off every day with a smile and get it over with.
  • I like children. Properly cooked.

    Padraig Flynn
  • Fate is an open road, and all you can do is put your foot on the gas and Drive, Baby Drive.

    Benjamin Franklin
  • In order for three people to keep a secret, two must be dead.
  • For want of a nail, the shoe was lost. For want of a shoe, the horse was lost. For want of a horse, the rider was lost. For want of a rider, the message was lost. For want of the message, the battle was lost. For want of the battle, the war was lost. All for the want of a nail.

    Aurora Greenway
  • Work like you don't need the money, love like you've never been hurt, and dance like nobody's watching.

    Francisco Goya
  • Fantasy, abandoned by reason, produces impossible monsters; united with it, she is the mother of the arts and the origin of marvels.

    Richard Harris
  • I formed a new group called Alcoholics Unanimous. If you don't feel like a drink, you ring another member and he comes over to persuade you.

    Katharine Hepburn
  • Sometimes I wonder if men and women really suit each other. Perhaps they should live next door and just visit now and then.

    Valleix Herard
  • Life is only a outer layer, for reality is only realized by the insane.

    Aldous Huxley
  • After silence, that which comes nearest to expressing the inexpressible is music.
  • Maybe this world is another planet's hell.

    Eddie Izzard
  • I wanna live 'til I die, no more, no less.
  • They say that "guns don't kill people, people kill people." Well I think the gun helps. If you just stood there and yelled BANG, I don't think you'd kill too many people.

    Thomas Jefferson
  • I would rather be exposed to the inconveniences attending too much liberty than to those attending too small a degree of it.

    John Keats
  • Beauty is truth, truth beauty, that is all ye know on earth and all ye need know.

    Helen Keller
  • With every friend I love who has been taken into the brown bosom of the earth a part of me has been buried there; but their contribution to my being of happiness, strength, and understanding remains to sustain me in an altered world.

    King Edward VIII
  • The thing that impresses me the most about America is the way parents obey their children.

    Stephen King
  • The beauty of religious mania is that it has the power to explain everything. Once God (or Satan) is accepted as the first cause of everything which happens in the mortal world, nothing is left to chance...logic can be happily tossed out the window.
  • People think that I must be a very strange person. This is not correct. I have the heart of a small boy. I is in a glass jar on my desk.

    Martin Luther King, Jr.
  • The ultimate measure of man is not where he stands in moments of comfort and convenience, but where he stands at times of challenge and controversy.

    C.S. Lewis
  • He who takes his life for granted is a pencil without an eraser.
  • Life is too deep for words, so don't try to describe it, just live it.

    Charles Manson
  • Years ago, it meant something to be crazy. Now everyone's crazy.

    Jeff Marder
  • We live in an age when pizza gets to your home before the police.

    Doug McLeod
  • I still say a church steeple with a lightning rod on top shows a lack of confidence.

    Dennis Miller
  • Isn't life just one 75 year span of being hit in the balls by one thing or another?
  • Now, I don't want to get off on a rant here, but guilt is simply God's way of letting you know that you're having too good a time.
  • There's nothing wrong with being shallow as long as you're insightful about it.
  • We need anything politically important rationed out like Pez: small, sweet, and coming out of a funny, plastic head.
  • What's so touching is the way we fight the war right until the moment our business is taken care of and then we turn on a dime and we immediately start taking care of people. It's like a shock and aw shucks campaign. When all else fails, follow the instructions.

    Marilyn Monroe
  • Ever notice that 'What the hell' is always the right decision?

    Daniel Keys Moran
  • You don't really own anything you can't carry on your back at a dead run.

    Proverbs
  • Coincidences are God's way of remaining anonymous. (French in origin)

    MechWarrior/Classic BattleTech
  • In this war, betrayal is the deadliest weapon of all. (CBT#54 Call of Duty)
  • Every warrior faces his baptism of fire. Surviving it is another story. (MW#1 Ghost of Winter)
  • It's more than a war. It's an assault-class death wish with no victory...no mercy...and no survivors. (CBT#46 The Killing Fields)
  • The final destruction is at hand...but who will be destroyed? (CBT#7 Warrior: Coupé)
  • Treachery will change the universe forever... (CBT#37 Exodus Road)
  • In a rebellion, victory has its price... (CBT#21 Blood of Heroes)
  • The line between war and barbarism is as sharp as a razor's edge. (CBT#18 Ideal War)
  • To the bold goes to victory. To the death goes the glory. (CBT#56 Operation Audacity)
  • Loyalty in this life means loyalty to the death. (MW#6 Imminent Crisis)
  • In a universe of war, even legends must die. (MW#5 The Dying Time)
  • Everyone wants to be a hero. Few will pay the price. (MW#4 Initiation to War)
  • Honor above all - except vengeance. (CBT#55 Storms of Fate)

    Monty Python
  • I sentence you to be hung by the neck until you cheer up.
  • If we took the bones out, it wouldn't be crunchy, would it?
  • No one expects the Spanish Inquisition! Our chief weapon is surprise, fear and surprise; two chief weapons, fear, surprise, and ruthless efficiency! Er, among our chief weapons are: fear, surprise, ruthless efficiency, and near fanatical devotion to the Pope! Um, I'll come in again...
  • The clarity is devastating. But where is the ambiguity? Over there in a box.
  • We are the keepers of the sacred words: Ni, Ping, and Neeee-wommmm! A SHRUBBERY!!!!
  • What is your name? What is your quest? What is the capital of Assyria?
  • What a senseless waste of human life...

    Movies/TV/Comics
  • (Batman Forever - The Riddler) Has anyone ever told you you have a SERIOUS impulse control problem?!
  • (Buffy the Vampire Slayer - Xander Harris) I laugh in the face of danger then I hide until it goes away.
  • (Caesar (TNT movie) - Unknown) Not all men use advantages to wicked ends.
  • (Caesar (TNT movie) - Unknown) Some men who think they are free are not free at all. They are bound by their minds.
  • (Lethal Weapon 3 - Detective Riggs) I'm Chaos and he's Mayhem. We're a double act.
  • (Star Trek - The Borg) Strength is irrelevant. Freedom is irrelevant. Self-determination is irrelevant. Death is irrelevant. You must comply.
  • (The Crow - Top Dollar) Greed is for amateurs. Disorder, Chaos, Anarchy.. Now that's fun!
  • (Pirates of the Caribbean - Captain Jack Sparrow) When you marooned me on that god forsaken spit of land, you forgot one very important thing, mate: I'm Captain Jack Sparrow.
  • (Pirates of the Caribbean - Pintel) Down to the depths with them that thought o' 'parley.'
  • (Pirates of the Caribbean - Captain Jack Sparrow) But why is the rum gone?
  • (Pirates of the Caribbean - Captain Jack Sparrow) Do us a favor...I know its difficult for you...but please, stay here, and try not to do anything...stupid.
  • (Dogma - Metatron) Anyone who isn't dead or from another plane of existence would do well to cover their ears right about now.
  • (Dogma - Metatron) Human beings have neither the aural nor the psychological capacity to withstand the awesome power of God's true voice. Were you to hear it, your mind would cave in and your heart would explode within your chest. We went through five Adam's before we figured that out.
  • (Dogma - Hospital P.A.) I repeat, this is not a drill! This is the apocalypse! Please exit the hospital in an orderly fashion! Thank you!
  • (Calvin & Hobbes - Calvin) The surest sign that there is intelligent life somewhere in the Universe is that it hasn't tried to contact us.

    Friedrich Neitzsche
  • He who fights monsters should look into it that he himself does not become a monster. When you gaze long into the Abyss, the Abyss also gazes into you.
  • At times one remains faithful to a cause only because its opponents do not cease to be insipid.
  • In heaven all the interesting people are missing.
  • Insanity in individuals is something rare - but in groups, parties, nations and epochs, it is the rule.
  • It is hard enough to remember my opinions, without also remembering my reasons for them!
  • Out of life's school of war: What does not destroy me, makes me stronger.
  • The visionary lies to himself, the liar only to others.
  • There is always some madness in love. But there is also always some reason in madness.

    Not Myself
  • (Harry Potter) "Ah! So that's how it is! Mighty Slytherin: all above the other Houses, all the other people. Well, let me tell you something, my dear Housemate, life's not like that outside these walls. Life is cruel, hard, and as vicious as a mother dragon. Life doesn't give a damn about what you are: Muggle, Muggle-born, Pureblood, Halfblood, Squib, Werewolf, Vampire, Gryffindor, Slytherin… It doesn't give shit about any of that! Life is the cruelest thing you can go up against, even worse than Voldemort himself!! And I should know, because I've met both of them! And let me tell you, Housemate mine, that Voldemort would be a much better thing to face than life. Why? Because Voldemort doesn't cause you to suffer for years upon years. Certainly under Cruciatus you might suffer by his hand but by the time he'd be done, you'd be dead! Life doesn't do that. Life puts you down, kicks you in the gutter, and it keeps you alive. So don't you talk to be about fraternizing with the enemy, you fucking asshole. 'Cause the only enemy I see here, is idiots like you!"
  • (Harry Potter) "I'm a Slytherin, na' a gentleman! "
  • (Harry Potter) "No, wait. I'd rather have a resurrected Voldemort brutally murder me. Sorry."
  • (Jardin) "Ooo, a trip to the frozen north. I've always wanted to vacation there."
  • (Jardin) "Sorry. I just tend to be a little sarcastic after I nearly get eaten by a giant spider. Perhaps you should try it sometime."
  • (Niamh O'Feir) "Alright, Mister and Misses Let's-Scream-Our-Heads-Off-At-Each-Other-While-Strange-Cloaked-Figures-Create- Havoc… Enough!"
  • (Niamh O'Feir) "And now - the idiot parade."
  • (Niamh O'Feir) "Well… if that wasn't the most idiocy I've ever heard, I'm Gilderoy Lockhart."

    Dorothy Parker
  • This book is not to be tossed aside lightly. It should be thrown with great force.

    Emo Phillips
  • Some mornings, it's just not worth chewing through the leather straps.

    Edgar Allan Poe
  • I have great faith in fools; my friends call it self-confidence.

    Paula Poundstone
  • Adults are always asking kids what they want to be when they grow up because they are looking for ideas.
  • The problem with cats is that they get the exact same look on their face whether they see a moth or an axe-murderer.
  • They say that the wages of sin is death. But after taxes its just a tired feeling really.

    Terry Pratchett
  • Light thinks it travels faster than anything but it is wrong. No matter how fast light travels, it finds the darkness has always got there first, and is waiting for it.
  • Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a diseased mind.
  • Never build a dungeon you wouldn't be happy to spend the night in yourself. The world would be a happier place if more people remembered that.
  • You can't trample infidels when you're a tortoise. I mean, all you could do is give them a meaningful look.

    Questions?
  • Broken promises don't upset me. I just think, why did they believe me?
  • Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how it remains so popular?
  • Do people want fire that can be fitted nasally?
  • Don't you hate it when life throws you a curveball and you forget to duck?
  • Hard work never killed anybody...but why take chances?
  • How can I miss you if you won't go away?
  • I'd like to help you out; which way did you come in?
  • If you cannot change your mind, are you sure you have one?
  • Isn't causing the world to crumble and burn a lot more fun than saving it?
  • Not the brightest crayon in the box, now are we?
  • What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?

    Keith Richards
  • If you're going to kick authority in the teeth, you might as well use two feet.

    James Rodges
  • Why yes -- a bulletproof vest. (final request before a firing squad)

    Will Rogers
  • People who fly into a rage always make a bad landing.
  • Diplomacy is the art of saying 'Nice doggie!'... till you can find a rock.

    Henry Rollins
  • I hit him to get his attention. I shot him to calm him down. I killed him to reason with him.
  • When life hands you a lemon, say "Oh yeah, I like lemons. What else you got?"

    Theodore Roosevelt
  • Do not hit at all if it can be avoided, but never hit softly.

    Bertrand Russel
  • War does not determine who is right - only who is left.

    David Russell
  • The hardest thing to learn in life is which bridge to cross and which to burn.

    John Russell
  • Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting.

    Sayings
  • That which does not kill us makes us stronger.
  • He who wants to kill a snake must aim for its head. (Danish in origin)
  • Power corrupts but absolute power is kind of neat.

    William Shakespeare
  • First kill all the lawyers.
  • There's nothing level in our cursed natures but direct villainy.
  • A wretched soul, bruised with adversity, We bid be quiet when we hear it cry; But were we burdened with light weight of pain, As much or more we should ourselves complain.
  • Cowards die many times before their deaths, The valiant never taste of death but once.
  • Cry Havoc! And let slip the dogs of war!
  • All the world's a stage, And all the men and women merely players. They have their exits and their entrances; And one man in his time plays many parts.
  • Though this be madness, yet there is method in it.

    Six Feet and Falling
  • (Harry Potter) "I'd rather not bet my life on anything right about now. I might need it soon."
  • (Harry Potter) "Why? Why does it always have to be me things like this happen to? What the hell about me is so attractive to pain and suffering? Tell me - what is it?"
  • (Harry Potter) "Yes. It seems I'm the great-nephew of one Tom Riddle, a.k.a. Lord Voldemort, Scourge of Existence. Isn't it grand?"
  • (Sheyne Snape) "Oh, look. The infirmary. Again."

    Kevin Smith
  • Sometimes the path you are on is not as important as the direction you are heading. For, no matter if you take the Holland Tunnel or the George Washington Bridge you get to New Jersey, so long as you are heading west. The procedure involved in your path to Nirvana may meander, but a road worth traveling is will have its twists and turns.

    Potter Stewart
  • Censorship reflects a society's lack of confidence in itself.

    Caskie Stinnett
  • A diplomat is a person who can tell you to go to hell in such a way that you actually look forward to the trip.

    Dorothy Thompson
  • It is quite hard at times to distinguish a genius from a lunatic.

    Henry David Thoreau
  • Do not be too moral. You may cheat yourself out of much life. Aim above morality. Be not simply good; be good for something.
  • Every generation laughs at the old fashions, but follows religiously the new.
  • Go confidently in the direction of your dreams! Live the life you've imagined. As you simplify your life, the laws of the universe will be simpler.
  • I went to the woods because I wished to live deliberately, to front only the essential facts of life, and see if I could not learn what it had to teach, and not, when I came to die, discover that I had not lived.
  • The most i can do for my friend is simply to be his friend.
  • What people say you cannot do, you try and find that you can.

    Lily Tomlin
  • Why is it that when we talk to God we're said to be praying, but when God talks to us we're schizophrenic?

    Mark Twain
  • 20 years from now, you will be more disappointed with the things you didn't do than by the things you did.
  • Let us endeavor to live so that when we come to die even the undertaker will be sorry.
  • The way it is now, the asylum's can hold the sane people but if we tried to shut up the insane we would run out of building materials.
  • When we remember we are all mad, the mysteries of life disappear and life stands explained.
  • All say, "How hard it is that we have to die"--a strange complaint to come from the mouths of people who have had to live.
  • Everyone is a moon, and has a dark side which he never shows to anyone.
  • Courage is resistance to fear, mastery of fear - not absence of fear.

    Jhonen Vasquez
  • I've been talking to dead rabbits and feeding bloody walls. I've done horrifying things with salad tongs. It's really eaten into my social life.

    Pancho Villa
  • Don't let it end like this. Tell them I said something. (last words)

    Voltaire
  • Now, my good man, this is no time for making enemies. (last words to a priest asking that he renounce Satan)
  • ...the safest course is to do nothing against one's conscience. With this secret, we can enjoy life and have no fear from death.
  • God is a comedian playing to an audience too afraid to laugh.
  • I have never made but one prayer to God, a very short one: 'O Lord, make my enemies ridiculous.' And God granted it.
  • I may not agree with what you say, but to your death I will defend your right to say it.
  • The ancient Romans built their greatest masterpieces of architecture, their amphitheaters, for wild beasts to fight in.
  • We are all full of weakness and errors; let us mutually pardon each other our follies - it is the first law of nature.

    Otto Von Bismarck
  • The great questions of our time will not be decided by speeches and majority decisions but by blood and iron.

    Johann von Goethe
  • We do not have to visit a madhouse to find disordered minds; our planet is the mental institution of the universe.

    Kurt Vonnegut
  • Before you kill somebody, make absolutely sure he isn't well connected.
  • We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful about what we pretend to be.

    Andy Warhol
  • People are always so boring when they band together. You have to be alone to develop all the idiosyncrasies that make a person interesting.

    Maxine Waters
  • I have a right to my anger, and I don't want anybody telling me I shouldn't be, that it's not nice to be, and that something's wrong with me because I get angry.

    Oscar Wilde
  • The truth is rarely pure and never simple.
  • We are all of us living in the gutter, but some of us are looking at the stars.
  • Laughter is not at all a bad beginning for a friendship, and it is far the best ending for one.

    Robert Anton Wilson
  • We live on the planet of the Apes. Is that funny, or serious?

    Neil Young
  • It is better to burn out then fade away.

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